i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I looked at my own cervix.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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