just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize