I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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