Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
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I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
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My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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