guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Nicole vs. Life
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
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He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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