so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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