were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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