she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am mentally ready for anal.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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