he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
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That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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