let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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