Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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