i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize