i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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