how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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