so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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