East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize