If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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