I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
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He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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