Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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