don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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