the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
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Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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