Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
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If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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