I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm at about main and main street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize