No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
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She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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