they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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