literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
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It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
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I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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