Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
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He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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