Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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