you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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