when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
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Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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