remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize