I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
high people should be assigned attendants
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Randomize