I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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