K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
pray to the hookup gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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