Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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