after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
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Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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