and i looked up. we had an audience...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
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Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
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I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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