i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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