I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
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NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
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Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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