So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
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Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
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Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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