i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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