recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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