if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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