Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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