We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize