Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
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There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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