My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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