I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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