I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
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It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
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I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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