I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize